i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We don't watch enough power rangers
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
