I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
