1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize