Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize