if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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