I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
