so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
