My friends, they love my intelligence
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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