Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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