fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Congratulations! We have a period
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
