you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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