Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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