Banned from zoo.
Again?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
