its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
