At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
