I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
