What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
