are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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