Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
