I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is my gift to your gina
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
