I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She's the barista slut.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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