The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize