I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
