Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
a search helicopter?!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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