i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize