how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
