another moral hangover. fuck.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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