trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
