hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
