We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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