I could have mohawked her pubes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
