Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
