He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
