i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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