69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fuck appropriateness.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
