Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize