i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
