I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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