carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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