he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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