i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
