i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sarcasm needs its own font
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
