im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
