Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
