i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
