I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What drink are we having for lunch?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
