I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
