ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
