i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
