Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
