Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
