Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
