Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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