Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
