its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
