..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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